Living Behind Bars

Thursday, December 29, 2005

The Basics

Anyone who has ever had the chance to learn how to bartend begins by asking the same question: how do I learn all these drinks? My response is always the same; making drinks is, maybe, 10% of the job. Any schmuck off the street can learn what is in a Cosmopolitan [a 4 count of vodka, a 2 count of triple sec or Grand Marnier, a heavy splash of cranberry, a dash of lime....more on the counts later]. Knowing the drinks is not important. You always have a bartender's bible, a rolodex of drinks, or, at the very least, another bartender you can ask.

What makes a bartender? The ability to pour liquid into glass makes you a beer-tender, a drink-tender, but for damn sure not a bartender. Bars today have plenty of flash, plenty of style, but are seriously lacking in what I call the "art of bartending." What do you think of when you picture a classic bartender? A person walks into a bar and sees a tender polishing the bar. The person walks up, has a seat, orders a whiskey, and tells the tender to leave the bottle- then begins to spill his heart to whomever is behind the bar.

As a bartender, your primary purpose is to be a shoulder. I want each and every customer who walks in to want to be my best friend. I want to be the first person they come see when they get fired, hired, engaged, divorced, loved, hated, passed, or failed. A bartender should know every score to every game in every sport; they should know the front page, the business page, the best restaurants, and even the best recipes and the best wines to match those recipes. They should shake hands, learn names, and above all, remember what you drink. They should talk about everything but themselves. What do you do for a living? What are your interests? A bartender should learn as much as possible about every possible topic that you could possibly be interested in. I have to know Zadie Smith's latest novel (On Beauty), who won the Heisman (Reggie Bush), Carrie Bradshaw's favorite shoes (Minolo Blanics), and where the Malbec grows into the best wine (South America-specifically, Argentina, in my opinion).

Where are all the bartenders in this world?

1 Comments:

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    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 4:53 PM  

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